To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
What is trust? It is when you throw a one-year-old baby in the air, he laughs because he knows that his father will catch him. Is it the same case in today’s relationships? Is doubting your partner because he hung out with his friends is trust? Is making someone feel jealous just because they did something which you didn’t like a form of trust? Is lying trust?
Why do we force so many feelings on just one person to make us feel everything that we’d like to feel? It’s not acceptable for someone to listen to you all the time. It’s not acceptable for someone making you a priority over themselves. It’s not acceptable for someone always cancelling on their plans so that you can enjoy yours. NO ONE IS LIABLE TO YOU.
Ask yourself, why did you come in a relationship in the first place? It could be looks, understanding, fun elements and so much more. Now, ask yourself how did it start to break? It could be your partner not giving you enough time, jealousy, long-distance and the list goes on. This all formed you to stop trusting your partner. Understand that in life it will always be YOU who can make you feel fulfilled. You can be in a relationship with the perfect person but still have moments of doubt. So, what is it that we can really do to make our relationships better?
Relationship Trust Excercise: How to Make Our Relationships better
Yes, this form of exercise exists. You just have to simply make a list of 3 things –
- Be honest about whether you trust your partner or not. Rate it on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not even a bit and 10 being complete without reservation.
- Write about how much do you trust your partner in areas of life like family, work, social behaviour, handling money and whatever you feel like.
- Write about how do you feel sharing things with your partner about your family, needs, fears, work and so much more.
Once you’re done ask your partner to do the same and then exchange your lists. Take and give time to analyse. It will help you solve so many areas of your relationship. It’s not only for those who are unable to trust but also for fun and spice up your relationship.
As cliche as it sounds, it is the best form of trust. Talk about your feelings. Tell them that you feel distant and you miss the old them. Tell them everything. Don’t assume anything until and unless you communicate. Assumptions are the termites of relationships. Communication is a two-way thing, don’t just speak but understand as well. Let them tell what went wrong. You can literally get an answer once you decide to let all your feelings about them out. If there is something that you can’t tell them then what is the point of being in love? If they do not understand your feelings and make fun of it, believe me, you deserve so much better. Trust your intuition.
50-50 rule seems amazing for any relationship. But what if your partner is working on something and he/she feels the need of 90% of you while they only give out their 10%. Understand that it’s okay and you might need that kind of support someday as well. Your partner could be going through family issues, work issues, mental issues or any kind of an issue where they don’t feel like giving the same amount of themselves, that’s when you should support them and in such ways, you can grow trust in your relationships.
WORK ON YOURSELF
It’s never okay to depend yourself on someone else in any way. You should always think of yourself as to #1 priority and work on yourself. Learn new things, go out and have fun with your friends. Don’t limit yourself just because you are in a relationship. Keep growing and focus on your goals. This will make you more intrigued in yourself and the flow of negative thoughts that you have for any situation in life will eventually decrease resulting in new forms of trust.