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How Childhood Upbringing Shapes Life & Adulthood


Everybody agrees that our childhood and upbringing has had a vast effect on our lives even as adults. It is also evident that raising a child is no child’s play, it’s a new experience for a couple that requires a lot of changes, experimentation and patience in their own lives to take care of a child. So it is quite a task for both the parents and the kid to reach a middle ground of good parenting and positive upbringing pattern.

Development of Learning Aspects & Experiences

There is no denial in the fact that when a child is in their early age of 4 to 6 years old, they develop their basic skills which even contribute to their adulthood. One of those skills is communication, Research at Harvard suggests that when a child has healthy open communication with your parents at that tender age, then your child is likely to have a healthier relationship, longer marriage and high self-esteem later in life.

Such children often turn out to be great negotiators in life since communication has been looked at small back and forths in life. This one really small thing can affect a child in such a broad aspect of life. Most parents want the best for their children but often they create a very over the top, more than required protective ground and sometimes they’re too harsh in order to teach them the life realities. There are different levels of complexities with every child as well since every kid has a unique personality so with all these constraints and inconsistencies, which often creates different parenting styles and patterns for children.

Decision Making Process & Upbringing

Kimmes and Heckman in 2017 studied the decision-making process of individuals and their parental influence on higher education, they found out that parenting styles were indirectly associated with the college enrollment of their children, as their parenting style affected their child’s beliefs, expectations and attitudes. A research confirmed that when an adolescent has the opportunity to participate in the decision-making process in their daily life they have an improved capacity to make effective decisions.

Sometimes when the parenting style is passive-aggressive and strict in nature, it creates a victimised thinking in the children that often translates in their adulthood and affect their decision making and personality traits.

A trauma builds up in their system and they may start suppressing their needs and demands and look out for others more than themselves. They as adults stop acknowledging their own feelings and what triggers it, so as a parent every step that you take from being available to your child to let them grow on their own feet you have to be careful and observe as to how your child is reacting to small changes in your upbringing style.

The way you talk to your child in their early years is how your child’s inner voice talks to them when they grow up, so always try to choose your words wisely and make them feel as an important member of the house. It is important to let your children feel things, and let them be a driver to their own life. To be a parent is to be a companion and not a roadmap of their life. Let me nurture and grow at their own speed.

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